finding joy in daily life

The Perfect Destination

April 29, 2012

The dream was a trip to Tuscany. None of us had ever been there, but Tuscany sounded like the perfect destination for our second “girls only” excursion. My sisters and I started this not-quite-yet-a-tradition event several years earlier with a summer trip to New England. Armed with a stack of travel guides and a hefty list of recommended places to consider from my husband, my 3 sisters and I spent a week exploring Boston and New York. For a week, we soaked up the history and culture of the region, basked in the excitement of celebrating July 4th at the Boston Pops, and marveled at the amazing 24-hour energy of New York. The whirlwind trip turned out to be a phenomenal start to what we hope will eventually become a more frequent tradition.

It was the first time we had traveled together without our families, with the simple goal of spending time with each other and sharing the fun of exploring something new. I don’t think any of us were quite sure how the trip would work out. Anything can happen when you throw four (dare I say) middle-aged women with different interests together in an unfamiliar place. Heading home after a week of endless walking and laughing, we were eager to plan our next excursion. What we learned is that we have a true appreciation for each other, and that our differences are what make our time together so enjoyable.

Despite our frequent conversations and efforts to organize a second trip, it took us nearly five years to do so. The dream was Tuscany, where we would enjoy the quiet beauty and rolling hills of the Italian countryside, savor authentic Italian food, and sip wine nightly as we reconnected. But five years brought a great deal of change, and with more challenging professional schedules and different financial priorities it was clear that Italy would have to wait. So we did what we’ve learned to do well — we compromised.

We gathered in San Diego where we enjoyed the beautiful weather and the rolling hills of the Temecula wine country, prepared and savored home-made Italian food, and sipped wine daily as we reconnected. There were six of us this time as we were joined by my sister’s twin daughters. We laughed, we celebrated, and we compromised. Most of all, though, we reaffirmed that we are connected by something greater than bloodline. We are connected by a heartfelt respect and admiration for each other. Tuscany’s still part of the conversation, but wherever we gather next, we know the adventure will be fun, memorable, and meaningful.

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Sharing, Travel

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A Child’s Viewpoint

July 22, 2011

Being around children in the summertime is like having your cake with ice cream … every day of the week. It’s the perfect serving of a wallop of sweetness topped with a refreshing blast of coolness. What makes summertime extra special is the carefree taste of freedom that exudes from a child when they know they have the entire day at their disposal to play.

Often, if you pay really close attention to a child’s eyes as you chat with them, something amazing will happen. Their words will convey their intended message, but their eyes will transport you to a world that as adults we too willingly give up. It’s wonderful when it happens.

Recently, I was conversing with one of the neighborhood kids as a group of them converged on our front porch to play, and I casually asked how his summer was going.

“We’re going to the place where dreams come true this summer,” he said shyly.

He didn’t quite know when they were going, or the exact name of their destination (although one could probably guess where that might be), but his eyes conveyed the same wondrous anticipation I remember feeling the very first time I went to “the place where dreams come true.”

As my family and I went on our own personal adventure this summer, that conversation with my little 6-year-old friend stayed with me and gave me a unique perspective. One that I hope to employ much more often in all aspects of my life. A child’s viewpoint is a beautiful thing. I often wonder why we so willingly give it up.

It’s interesting how a change in perspective can completely alter an experience, particularly one that you might have had before. We spent a few days at Sea World and Discovery Cove in Orlando thoroughly enjoying the ability to interact with some of nature’s most incredible sea creatures in a unique environment. That glorious anticipation I saw in my little neighbor’s eyes that afternoon when we spoke of his summer plans set the tone for a weekend that I will not soon forget.  When you take away the hesitation or the expectations and open up your mind to the thrill of experiencing something new, it’s amazing to find just how mind-boggling an experience can be.

Category:

Learning, Nature, Seeing

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Fathers and Heroes

June 24, 2011

For those of us lucky enough to know a great dad, Father’s Day ranks as a uniquely special day. In the hours leading up to last Sunday, Father’s Day 2011, images of the two special fathers in my life (my own, and my husband) who have helped shape the meaning of that relationship in my world brought a flurry of emotions. I am thankful for them and the role they have had in helping me become the woman and the mother that I am today.

As expected, that morning’s newspaper included stories honoring famous fathers who have placed their parental role at the forefront of their lives despite the often tremendous demands of being in the public spotlight. The stories are always heart-warming and, in a way, heroic. Later, as I ventured through the city with my husband and our son that day, observing the multitude of men who proudly wore the honorable badge of “World’s Greatest Dad,” it struck me that although we may not always read or hear about it, we are in the presence of someone’s hero every single day.

I was touched to observe men from all corners of the world proudly walking alongside their families, basking in the wonder of a child’s loving eyes. From the young father holding his toddler’s hand as they strolled along the edge of the pond hoping to catch a closer glimpse at the ducks, to the more mature gentleman walking hand-in-hand with his wife as his teenage son sauntered behind them with his hands stuffed in his pockets, they all seemed like strangers I had known forever. Especially touching were the generational families: father, walking alongside father/child, walking alongside child. Fathers helping shape the futures of each generation to follow.

In reminiscing about the fathers I have known including my own, my son’s, and husbands and fathers of family members and friends, I have come to realize that the virtues of that title are endless. They are also unique — to the individual and the relationships they nurture. Watching the evolution of a husband into a loving and guiding father is like watching the transformation of an artist’s sculpture in their unreachable quest for perfection, each chisel bringing more joy and a greater desire to continue their pursuit.

In the days since last Sunday, I have found myself re-living special memories of my father. The image of my father eliciting a giggling frenzy at the dinner table among his three youngest daughters, myself included, is what most often comes to mind. There are other equally sentimental moments about my father that I recall having experienced as a child. Often, it’s not until we mature and have some semblance of parental experience under our own belts, however, that we truly recognize the sacrifices and commitments that were made for our benefit. My father died more than a decade ago, but his legacy remains crystal clear. I know now, he was my hero.

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Sharing

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The Joy of Discovery

June 2, 2011

The end of the school year always offers a measure of anticipation that brings back fond memories of more youthful days. As the promise of summer beckons with each passing day, you can almost taste the chocolate mint or cookies’n cream ice cream that will cool your palate after a day spent frolicking in the sun. You can almost taste the salt in the air that comes with a stroll along a moonlit beach. You can almost smell the sunscreen-slathered crowds at the community swimming pools. Although my youthful days as measured in numbers are well behind me, the end of the school year always reinvigorates the youth in me as measured by the promise of things to come that I see in a young person’s eyes.

My family and I recently spent a day enjoying the thrill of New York with a niece who had just completed a fantastic two-week advertising program in America’s hotbed of creativity and excitement. The joy of her two weeks of discovery and the anticipation of what her life might hold in the years ahead emanated from her. Her hopeful excitement was contagious. I can still clearly remember what it felt like when I was her age — to be consumed with the promise of what lies ahead. To know that the days of endless reading, studying, cramming and testing are coming to an end, to be replaced with the excitement of your first professional endeavor. I was reminded of that thrill. I am every time I’m around young dreamers.

Few things are as powerful as the hope of a young person’s dreams, or as intoxicating as their absolute belief in their ability to fulfill those dreams. Perhaps that’s why few things give me greater joy than being privy to those aspirations. When we surround ourselves with dreamers, some of the wonder is bound to rub off.

Category:

Knowledge, Learning, Sharing

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Spread Your Wings

May 24, 2011

For me, winter seems to bring a need for organization and routine. An orderly and bright indoor environment and a predictable schedule help to keep the melancholy that shortened days and uncooperative weather can bring, at bay. As the days lengthen and the sun’s rays extend their daily visits, it’s not just the sight of flowers blooming on every corner or ducklings chasing Mama Duck across the pond that brings revitalization. It’s also very much the promise of something new to add to my repertoire that gets me excited about the upcoming seasons.

Why not join the celebration of a newfound energy that comes with Spring by spreading our wings and trying something new? It doesn’t need to be life-altering or a massive undertaking. There’s no great plan or formula to follow. There are no special requirements or lists of tasks to check off. What we do have is an opportunity to learn and grow in a way that will bring us personal enjoyment and satisfaction. It could be expanding our knowledge by exploring a new genre of books, volunteering an hour a week at a favorite non-profit, learning how to read music or play a new instrument, or finally committing to a daily early evening walk with your family. The point is to explore a new activity.

Something as simple as gardening, for someone like me whose green-thumb gene is definitely absent, can offer a sense of accomplishment and unexpected calm. Earlier this month I spent a few hours carefully selecting a colorful assortment of potted flowering annuals and meticulously arranging them in old discarded outdoor pots that had been sitting empty for months. The result was a beautiful floral display that I now proudly enjoy every time I walk out my back door. Chances are the flowers won’t long survive the exploits of curious or hungry critters conducting their own explorations. I have already observed signs of such. But I will now gladly count myself among the multitude of joyful gardeners who anxiously await the beauty of getting their hands dirty all in the name of planting new seeds and watching a new endeavor blossom.

Category:

Learning, Sharing

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Small + Many = Great

April 30, 2011

Sometimes it’s easy to forget how giving we can be. Amidst all the talk of hardship and doomsday forecasting; all the images of sudden devastation across the world; and all the stories of phenomenal courage and feats of triumph, lies a plethora of random acts of kindness that can also change the world.

I am awed by the stories I read about people’s relentlessness in their quest to make a significant positive difference in a stranger’s life, often at great personal sacrifice. I often wonder what drives them to that point, and I contemplate what our world would be like if more of us had that same level of compassion. I must admit, it’s often with more than a twinge of envy that I wonder to myself, “If only I could make that kind of difference.”  Then, in the most unexpected way, I am reminded that most of us already do.

As I was completing a recent purchase for my son, the cashier asked whether I cared to donate to their adopted cause.  Without a thought, I politely declined her offer, anxious to complete the transaction and be on my way.  Without hesitation my 12-year-old touched my arm and said “Come on Mom, think about ….”  My son has a cherished friend afflicted with that particular illness and even at the age of 12, he clearly understands the importance of giving when you can.  I had spent the better part of my son’s young life trying to instill a sense of purpose and meaning in our daily decisions; a belief that our actions have a broader impact than on ourselves.  With those simple words, uttered at the most opportune moment, my son taught me — and, I believe the young cashier as well — a lesson that will stay with me for the rest of my life.  I smiled, opened my wallet, pulled out a bill that would likely have been spent on an unnecessary purchase, and handed it to the cashier as a donation in honor of my son’s friend.  As she completed the transaction, I heard her quietly whisper, “That was so sweet.”

That simple act of giving changed the tone of my day.  Not necessarily because of the sense of worth it gave me to know I had done something selfless, but because of the sense of hope it gave me to know that my son was not willing to let me sit idly by when we could help make a positive difference in someone’s life.  Was it a life-altering difference at that very moment, like many of the stories we read these days of young people sacrificing their lives for the good of future generations? Probably not.  Can it be a life-altering difference in years to come? Absolutely.  Chances are that a sense of compassion and the desire to be kind to a fellow human being are traits that will help shape my son’s life as he matures.  What we tend to forget is that every small act of kindness does have an impact, and many small acts can quickly amount to a great difference.

That evening as I was closing up the house for the night, I thought of the multitude of people I know who live what I call a life of purpose.  Who every day, without thinking, do something kind for a stranger.  Then I thought of the multitude of people I don’t know who do that as well — the on-site volunteers, fundraising event planners, financial donors, in-kind donors, sponsors, and all the people who in one way or another make a positive difference in another person’s life nearly every day.  We see them and hear about them all the time; in our schools, our churches, our neighborhood parks, our community organizations, our hospitals, etc.  And I realized how natural it is to forget how giving we truly are.  We need to hear those incredible life-changing stories to help remind us of the importance of giving a helping hand to someone in greater need, and to reaffirm how powerful the human will can be.  But if my experience is any indication, our own lives are much richer by the simple knowledge that those many, small random acts of kindness that we each practice daily will transform another person’s life by giving them hope.  Many of us are living proof of that.

Category:

Giving, Learning

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All Around Us

April 24, 2011

There’s something special about the smell of wet dirt. Lately, I open the door and the aroma puts my senses on alert, conjuring up vivid images of a childhood spent building mud cakes and mud castles. I grew up in the desert, which meant that much of our mud was intentionally created, lest we be content to wait months for the next rain shower. But what’s the point in waiting when you can create your own magic?

These days finds me in a much more lush environment. It’s rained on and off for the last several days and although the skies may have seemed temporarily devoid of laughter, the scurry of squirrels uncovering their winter treasures and the emergence of buds on the trees announces the coming of springtime. Yet, what strikes me most as I watch the obvious signs of spring unfurl, each day with greater grandness, is that the energy this season gives me is no different than that which I felt while watching the unique birth of spring in the desert.

As I drove through the neighborhood and strolled around the park on an unexpectedly sunny day this Easter Sunday, it seemed clear to me that much of the world around me is similarly struck with that sense of newness that spring seems to bring with it. I watched as a mother diligently and patiently weeded her front lawn as her two young children, sporting colorful galoshes and bright, plastic, kid-size gardening tools, chased each other around the yard. The beginning of yet another generation of beautiful gardeners, I thought. I may not be good with plants, but I can certainly appreciate someone else’s artistry.

The park held an abundance of energy. From a plethora of four-legged friends of all shapes and sizes bouncing around the park with their owners to a multitude of arts enthusiasts capturing the beauty of the moment on cameras, canvases, or through their music, the masterpiece of the day was not lost on those who chose to venture out. For me, much of the beauty comes from the unexpected — like the gnarled, bare-branched tree standing stoically beside the wispy willow flowing gently with the breeze. Or, perhaps, the group of 20 or so adults playing a friendly game of “quiddich”, complete with brooms and all. No flying in this version, though.

As I returned home I came to the conclusion that clearly, the wonder is all around us. From the sprout of the first tulip or the scurry of the first lizard … the sound of the morning robins or the popping of raindrops against the roof … the whistle of the wind as it sneaks in through a barely open window or the smell of wet dirt after a torrential downpour. It’s there. All around us.

Category:

Nature, Seeing

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It’s About Perspective

April 21, 2011

I’m a reader. I don’t just read books, news articles and magazines; I devour them. I experience them as I like to think the authors intended — passionately and with an open mind. I believe opening up our minds to the fascinating world of words enriches our individual lives in a way little else can, if we allow it to.

I’m also a devout optimist. What’s the point in trudging through life waiting for the proverbial ax to fall? I figure we have two choices in how we approach life each and every day. We either focus on the negative, or find something to smile about. Each and every day. In many cases, I think we’ll find that it’s all about perspective.

We live in a phenomenal technological era where the world is at our fingertips. Information flows freely and abundantly. Sometimes sifting through so much information to find something that moves us can feel a little daunting. And some days, depending on how things may be unfolding, we may need a more direct jolt of positive vibes to help us wade through the turmoil.

For years, I’ve been contemplating starting a blog to add to the volume of positive messages from which people can choose, but I always found an excuse to put it off.  Whether it was my professional life, volunteer work, family obligations, travel, self-doubt or any other multitude of reasons, I seemed determined to find a way to say “I’ll do it later.”  Then I realized I had the wrong perspective. Writing is what I love.  And I, like you, have a voice.   Whether we choose to share it with others is a personal choice; one I had made in the affirmative a long time ago.  It was time. 

As news continues to permeate our lives, allowing us to experience magnificent, tragic, humbling, mind-boggling, inspiring, unbelievable events from all corners of the world, I feel compelled to add my little grain of sand to the sandbox. And, being the optimist that I am, I feel that sharing some of the everyday things that make me smile might be a good way to bring a little balance to the equation. Life is full of simple, unexpected pleasures – if we keep it all in perspective. One person’s downpour is another’s thirst-quencher.  I hope you’ll enjoy, and remember to smile and keep it all in perspective.

Category:

Knowledge, Learning

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